Duel Masters: Fumo Saga
by MrFumo
Summary: A 4th wall breaking Anime fanfic with the most randomest dialogue EVER. This will definitely give you a laugh! Lots of crazy language that's not for kids! The reading is fast pace so you'll never get bored.
1. A New Parody Fanfic!

**Chapter 1: A New Fanfic! Getting to Know Your Characters**

A 4th wall breaking Anime fanfic with the most random dialogue EVER.

This will definitely give you a laugh!

Lots of crazy language that's not for kids!

The reading is fast pace so you'll never get bored.

The fanfic is suppose to be about card games but the script writer must have smoked it all when he wrote this...

In today's episode, you'll see in a Japanese middle school, a main character wannabe and a fatass dueling during lunchtime.

PS: this chapter is not intended to be racist. It just is...

* * *

"Ha! I summon La Ura Giga, Sky Guardian. Saruis, Vizier of Suppression. And Angler Cluster." said some black fatass in a deep puzzling voice.

"Now I have 6 blockers! Beat that."

"Dude, this whole time, you been playing nothing but blockers…" said Nobu, the potential main character who thinks he's better than everyone just cuz he has the cliché spiky anime hair.

"Nigga, stop stalking so I can beat yo ass. I'm black so I can call you a nigga got that?"

"Nigga, there ain't nothing you can do to_"

" I summon Scarlet Skyterror…all your blockers die." said Nobu with a bored face.

"Gatling Skyterror, break his last two shields. Bolshack Dragon, finish him… -_-"

The black loser pushes the table down as he quickly stands up.

"Shit! I jacked this deck from some nerd and I still lost."

"That's cuz you jacked it from that midget Mokubo." said Nobu.

"Like, yea. Like why jack shit from like Mokubo?" said Donathan, the gay guy with his blonde hair covering one of his eyes like those generic pretty boys from the animes.

"Like, he sucks."

"Technically speaking, I counteracted the thought of getting jumped again by purposely planning a fake noob deck full of blockers in my deck case in case I get my cards robbed like yesterday." said Mokubo, a small midget with Harry Potter glasses that acts like a total know-it-all.

Nobu crosses his arms trying to look gangster saying, "This is why black people shouldn't be playing children's card games."

"He said there be fried chicken!" the fatass cried as he pointed to the weirdo with a black cape and a white jabbawockeez mask.

"Yes! It is I. Kurotakashitsuhamaru" said the guy with the cheesy phantom of the opera cosplay.

"I'm have deliberately given myself the title of being the main villain of season 1 for this fanfic."

"But don't like, the main bad guy like, always loses at like the end of the season and like, become one of the good guys for like, season 2?" Donathan blabber.

"Shut up!" Kurotakashitsuhamaru demanded as he changes to a kabuki face mask and does that Asian pose.

"My name has the word "shit" in it which makes me the shit so I don't have to put up with this!"

"Plus, I have the longest main villain name of all fanfics so that definitely makes me top main villain of all main bad guys!"

Nobu tilts his head and glance at the mask freak.

"Whatever "shit" face." said Nobu with a sign. "Since I'm the main character, it's my job to get ask many wins as possible. Main characters never loses unless it's for character development."

"Technically, the scripted said that you're a potential main character," said Mokubo with a fake intellect tone. "that means you're not_"

"Shut up Mokubo." Nobu said immediately with his face turned to Mokubo.

" I challenge you. Right here, right now, BANG!" Nobu said with the Naruto 4th opening music rising.

"Main characters always got to have some awesome music whenever they say cool lines like that," said Nobu with is right hand forming a fist.

"Very well, wannabe Naruto." said Kurotakashitsuhamaru with a cheesy evil accent.

"Prepare to lose your good guy winning streak." said Kurotakashitsuhamaru with the Sephiroth theme music in the background.

The random music suddenly stops cuz of this guy.

"Nigga, can I get my KFC now?" the fatass mumbled. "I ordered 6 wings with mashed potatoes. It better not be spicy."

"There is no chicken, you burnt biscuit!" Kurotakashitsuhamaru denounced. "I decisively tricked you now be gone!"

"The fuck is with these names!"

"Don't I get a real name in this fanshit?"

"Well no, the writer name never gave you a name cuz your purpose on this fanfic was to lose to Nobu and then never to brought up aga_"

"Shut up Mokubo." said the fatass with no name.

"Why is my character so freakin lame? The only shit I did was jump a kid and jacked his deck off-screen."

"I'ma join a better fanfic with nigga people! Ya'll and ye Jap names can suck it." said the fatass doing the Triple H "suck it" pose.

"But I'm like white." Donathan butted in. "This would totally be like a good plot twist later when everyone finds out the main character is like, white."

A random judge hammer started banging on the table.

"Alright brats, sit down. 5th period has started." said the bitchy teacher. "Time for history class. Now who can tell me why we bomb the living crap out of Pearl Harbor?"

"Wasn't it because of the 554 plan where the Americans_"

"WRONG!" the teach roared.

"Meet me at the river after school where everyone goes to play card games on that random table." said Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "If you don't, I'll kill the hostage!"

"You mean Mokubo?" said Nobu. "Go ahead and kill him. He's not important to the plot anyways."

"Curses! Hey fat boy, find me a new hostage!"


	2. Enter the Mask!

**Chapter 2: Enter the Mask! What's Under Kurotakashitsuhamaru's Mask?**

"So, you decided to accept my challenge," said Kurotakashitsuhamaru now wearing an emo mask.

"Dude, you're still wearing that get up?" said Nobu smiling.

"What are those two doing here?" said the emo cosplayer as he points to a blonde and a dwarf.

"Well Donathan's gay but I don't know why Mokubo is here," answered Nobu.

"I'm a reoccurring supporting character so duty to be here." Mokubo said promptly.

"Well, unlike shorty here, like some people have places to like, go to," Donathan said with a pissed look.

"Like, season six of Greg's Anatomy DVDs are on sale today. Let's just like get this duel like over with so I can like get to the mall before it closes."

"Then its time to ddddduelllll!" Kurotakashitsuhamaru declared as he changes his emo mask to a yugioh mask.

"Look, we aren't gonna ripoff Yu-Gi-Oh more than Duel Masters already has." uttered Nobu.

"Hey, where are the hostages you promised?" asked Mokubo.

"Oh yea, the writer forgot all about that part and didn't put anything about that on this episode." answered Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "It will probably be filled in on the next epioside."

"Whatever. Shields up! I'll go first." said Nobu as random cheesy holographic lights formed to shields appearing before both duelist.

"Wait!" yelled Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "We have to explain to the readers how Duel Masters is played."

"We didn't explain it on the first episode so why explain it now?" questioned Nobu.

"Well, last episode didn't really count since you won in one tur_."

"Shut up Mokubo." Nobu quickly said.

"The readers of this fanfic should already know how the game goes and most of the creatures' names. We only gonna use the first couple card sets for this season. If we make enough money for next season, they can sponsor us for the newer cards.

"Like, for reals?" asked Donathan. "Then I'm like totally gonna make a ninja deck in season two."

"What about the readers that don't know how to play Duel Masters?" asked Kurotakashitsuhamaru.

"Well, they can always go to Duel Masters Wiki and learn how to play." stated Mokubo. "And if they have sucky DSL internet connection, there's always the original Duel Masters anime series on Cartoon Network."

"That series didn't teach shit." said Nobu. "All it did was help me copy Shobu's fire deck cuz for some reason, Shobu always wins with Bolshack Dragon and he only has one copy of it in his deck."

"Yeah, like I call bullshits on that," Donathan announced. "You always beat me with that like, doushe dragon."

"You also copied his nam_"

"Shut up Mokubo."

"Well alright then," agreed Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "But we better get more readers on this fanfic or else I'm taking over for scripting!"

The duel finally started after reading half of today's scripted. We now skipped to turn 2 since no one wants to read "I charge mana and end my turn" over and over on the first turn.

"Summon Mini Titan Gett," said Nobu.

"I summon Spinning Terror, the Wretched," said Kurotakashitsuhamaru.

"Devil mask creatures huh," said Nobu. "You really got to do something about that mask fetish of yours."

"My turn. I cast Phantom Dragon Flame to destroy your mask creature. Mini Titan Gett, attack his shields, ike!"

One of Kurotakashitsuhamaru's shields shattered and assembled into a card placed in his hand.

"Saying ike?" laughed Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "Why didn't you say it in the first episode. You don't have to act like a main character from the show."

"I AM the main character so hurry up and go!"

"Ha, why rush? I summon Grinning Axe, the Monstrosity."

"Eww like I hate slayer cards." murmured Donathan. "Like Nobu needs to hurry and like win this duel cuz the store closes in like, twenty minutes."

"I evolve Mini Titan Gett into Armored Blaster Valdios. Double breaker his shields, ike!"

"Shield Trigger! I cast Proclamation of Death. You must choose one of your creatures to_"

"Dude! I know. I can read," Nobu commented. "I thought we agreed not to explain the rules and cards and stuff."

"Well I'm gonna say what I want to say to get more lines on this fanfic!" yelled Kurotakashitsuhamaru.

"My turn. I summon Nightmare Invader and attack with Grinning Axe, the Monstrosity"

"You just gave me the card I needed," smiled Nobu. "I summon Immortal Baron Vorg and the speed attacker, Pyrofighter Magus, break his shield, ike."

"Fool! It's another shield trigger! I cast Terror Pit on Pyrofighter Magus," Kurotakashitsuhamaru gladly declared.

"Now I cast Death Smoke on your Immortal Baron Vorg, leaving you with no creatures on your side of the field. My creatures, break another pair of his shields!"

"Oh yeah? I summoned the one and only, Bolshack Dragon!" shouted Nobu.

Dragonforce music started popping out of nowhere as the great armored dragon materialized behind Nobu.

"So I'm guessing the summoning of the big creatures will only be appearing in the script?" wondered Mokubo.

"You know nothing of the power of the Mask!" shouted Kurotakashitsuhamaru.

The dragonforce started fading away as dark clouds began to form in the sky making day into night.

"I now evolve Grinning Axe, the Monstrosity to Evil Incarnate! Now Bolshack dragon dies on your next turn."

The little mask creature transformed with an ominous light into a demonic figure.

"Crap! Not Bolshack.." Nobu said in his mind.

"Well you shouldn't have played Bolshack Dragon so fas_"

"Shut the fuck up Mokubo!" Nobu demanded. "The main character has to win with Bolshack Dragon! And why is every creature card in this guy's deck has to be a fuckin mask?"

"Masks are the symbol of the evil villains!" roared Kurotakashitsuhamaru as he changed masks once again into a Char Aznable mask.

"Haven't you seen the Gundam series! Every main antagonist always wears a mask. It's the rules!

"But all of them had blonde hair and yet yours is clearly as black as ours," said Nobu.

"Not all of them! Kurotakashitsuhamaru quickly shouted. "The bad guy with the mask in G Gundam had black hair!"

"But he doesn't count cuz he was wearing half a ma_"

"Shut up Mokubo!" demanded Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "I tried dying it this morning but things backfired so shut up!"

"Now, Evil Incarnate, break his last 2 shields!"

Nobu's last two shields shattered into pieces. However, a evil grin appeared on Nobu's face.

"See!" Nobu said with a sinister looking smiled. "I cast shield trigger, Tornado Flame on Nightmare Invader. Now I'll be able to win cuz I can't possibly lose on the second episode."

"The hell?" thought Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "Cmon writer. He won on the first episode already. Can't I get a win?"

"Nope, cuz it's my turn now," smirked Nobu.

Bolshack Dragon vanished into particles due to Evil Incarnate's ability.

"Well you no longer have Bolshack to win the game for you," uttered Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "How can you possibly win without the only card you can use to declare a finishing move?"

"With this!" shouted Nobu as he raised the card to the heavens. "I summon... another Bolshack Dragon! Cue the Dragonforce!"

"Hey, what gives?" asked Mokubo. "You never had two Bolshack Dragons in your de_"

"Shut up Moku..hey wait, where's Donathan?" Nobu questioned.

"Oh, Donathan got picked up from one of his two lesiban moms," responded Mokubo. "They got him the DVDs. Now he's gonna be on a Grey's Anatomy marathon all weekend."

"So what if you still have another Bolshit Dragon on the field," said Kurotakashitsuhamaru as his Evil Incarnate was destroyed due to its own effect.

"I summon Acid Reflux, the Fleshboiler. It's a blocker with the slayer ability. Let's see if your Bolshack Dragon can survive this one."

"Easy," laughed Nobu. "I summon Twincannon Skyterror and cast the spell, Comet Missile to destroy your blocker!"

A wyvern with two long ass cannons strapped on its shoulder wings materialized to Nobu's aid.

"Shit!" cried Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "A speed attacker and a spell?"

"Ha," chuckled Nobu. "You know, if this fanfic turned in a real anime series, they would probably censor out the shit phrases and censor out the shit in your name! Hahaha!"

"Grr, if this last shield isn't a trig_"

The remaining shield exploded into fragments from the blast of Nobu's Skyterror and slowly returning into its preformed card shape.

"No trigger huh?" Nobu said with confidence. "Alright. That's a rap. Bolshack Dragon, finish him! Totomeda!

"Bolshack Dragon fires the finishing blow to the mask maniac. All of his cards scatter in the air as Kurotakashitsuhamaru was flung into the sky.

There was a crack appearing on his mask right between the love kanji on the forehead area.

"Hey, since when did you change your mask to Gaara's face?" Nobu asked.

More cracks started forming on Kurotakashitsuhamaru's mask and pieces of the mask began falling out like if he was actually crying.

"Hey! Who says I'm crying?" shouted Kurotakashitsuhamaru as he was trying to put the mask back together like a puzzle.

"Yes!Finally! This means the episode is almost over," cheered Mokubo. "Everyone knows that after the bad guy reveals his effed up face, there's gonna be a lots of ohhhhhs and ahhhhs and a giant cliffhanger waiting for the next episode."

"Hey, I know you," noticed Nobu. "You're that guy I copied off test answers last week. Dude, you suck at Algebra more than me! And we're Asian!"

It was a kid from his class with that huge ass buck tooth beaver braces.

"Oh yea," remembered Mokubo. "I was suppose to let you copy off of me but I was absent that day cuz of a physical...it sucks having prostate cancer at my age.

"Would you all just shut up!" yelled Kurotakashitsuhamaru. "I lost to this Shobu imitation again! Who the hell is in charge of scripting!"

"Wait? I kicked your ass at card games before?" thought Nobu.

"You don't remember?" Kurotakashitsuhamaru asked. "It was last month's city tournament. I lost to you on the first round. I was wearing a mask so you probably couldn't see my face.

"Oh right, you were the one I was dueling with that stupid cookie monster mask," said Nobu.

"It was suppose to be Elmo! ...but they sold out," said the Elmo lover.

"Cmon, when is this episode gonna end?" raged Mokubo. "I call shots on the spotlight for the next episode."

"You as the main character for the day would be such a boring episode to read..." yawned Nobu. "Well, we don't have school tomorrow so I'm gonna sleep in. Night guys."

"Wait. Why is it still night time?" wonder Mokubo. "Mask boy's creature is gone now. I blame global warming."

"This isn't over Nobu!" shouted Kurotakashitsuhamaru as he walks away like a sore loser. "I'll get my revenge! I'll beat you! You'll see! You'll all see! Buddha only waits three times! I still have two more times!"

Kurotakashitsuhamaru walks away backwards saying that stupid line and then trips and fall like he's high or something.

"He really has to lay off the crack," thought Nobu.


	3. Getting to the Plot!

**Chapter 3: Getting to the Plot! This Fanfic has a Plot?**

The plot now thickens! In today's episode, we reveal the actual plot of this fanfic which probably won't make any sense until couple more episodes later...

* * *

"11:30 AM already?" yawned Nobu as he turns off his alarm clock playing a loud screaming sound of Girugamesh.

"Looks like I missed the season premiere of Pokemon. Mokubo better have DVRed it for me."

As Nobu began to get up, he felt a little wet sensation somewhere down his you-know-whats area with tissue box falling off his bed.

"Aww man, not again." whined Nobu as he cleans up with the sticky smelly tissues. "It's the 7th time this week. If anyone sees this, they would HOLYSHIT!WHOTHEHELLAREYOU-AND-HOWLONGHAVE-YOUBEENSTANDINGTHERE?

"Long enough, teehee," giggle the little girl with them big-o-eyes at the desk in Nobu's dirty room. "Don't worry, I recorded the new Digimon episode instead. We all know Poke_"

"What the hell are you doing in my room?" cried Nobu as he tries to cover his wee wee.

"I been waiting for you hehe," said the freaky girl with that creepy little girl voice. "Today is the day I get to reveal myself to you."

"What the hell does that mean? And do you ever blink those big freaky eyes of yours? And why are they blue? And why are they freakin huge?" squealed Nobu with a goosebumps in his throat.

"Today, we get to discuss the plot." the girl said with that same smiling creepy face. "Master's orders were to bring you to him."

"Blink already!" demanded Nobu. "You're scaring the shit out of me those eyes. And stop staring at me with that creepy smile."

Nobu rapidly searched under his covers for something but couldn't find it cuz of...her.

"Looking for this?" said the little girl as she raises up a sticky tidy whity in the air.

"Gimme those!" shouted Nobu as he snatched it from her.

The covers fell off the bed as Nobu's tiny privates became exposed.

There was a moment of silence in the room...

The little girl's face slowly started shifting its direction forty-five degrees downwards with her gigantic eyeballs targeting the little thing. She quickly broke out her cellphone and captured a quick shot of Nobu's little man.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Nobu!"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH"

Nobu, wake up!"

"AAAAHHHHH"

"Wake_"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"

"Mokubo, like, get out of the way," demand Donathan as he pushes the little midget aside. "Like, I'll handle this one."

Donathan grabs Nobu by the shirt and bitchslaps him like a boss.

"Huh? What happen?" Nobu confusedly asked.

"Seems like a hallucination to the brink of insanity," deducted Mokubo as he shifted his glasses up like a nerdy anime kid.

"Oh, just another wet dream," relieved Nobu as he began to regain consciousness. "You guys wouldn't believe the nightmare I went through."

"Let me guess," wonder Mokubo.

"Like, a world without shampoo!" detected Donathan as he brushed his gay blonde bangs to the other eye.

"Worse!" shouted Nobu. "I woke up in my room and that little girl from the ring movie with big ass eyeballs OHMYGOD!THEGRUDGE!WHATTHEFUCKISSHEDOINGHERE?"

That same grudge looking girl was right behind him still staring directly at Nobu with them big ass eyes of hers.

"Ooooh her?" Mokubo said with hearts in his eyes. "The little cutie and that big guy over there were the ones that brought you here."

"Fresh... meat.." slowly said the giant tanned sumo looking guy.

"Damn, he get some nasty sunburn," clamied Nobu.

"ME ANGRY!" yelled the sunburned sumo as he charged towards Nobu.

Then the little creepy girl steps in to stop the giant's rampage while still continuing to stare at Nobu.

"Me done waiting..." angered the big guy as he walks away.

"Where the hell are we?" asked Nobu with scared tone cuz that little girl is still staring at him. "Looks like the town's dueling center but it's closed today."

"Well I had a text saying that a Star Trek convention was gonna be here," Mokubo said while still spinning in circles over the stalker girl.

"Like, someone said Lady Gaga was like, gonna be here," said Donathan with a pissed look.

"And that stalker chick got me here," said Nobu still with a scared tone cuz he knows that stalker chick has a snapshot of his you-know-whats.

"Wait, I thought you were spending the weekend watching Grey's Psychology." said Nobu.

"Like, it's Anatomy," corrected Donathan. "Like get it right or like don't say it at all."

"Oh and like, my moms were using the DVD player to like, make a new sex tape so like, I can't like, really watch my George and Derek get it on cuz like they told me to leave the house til like, 2:30ish," Donathan explained.

"Foreals?" Nobu excitedly said. "Need to get that stuff on youtube."

"Like, whatever." commented Donathan. "Straight boys only think with their lower brains."

"Finally," said a badass voice out of nowhere. "All of the cards are now in play."

Stage lights aimed towards the guy who looks like an important character to today's episode.

"Don't worry. I'm not the bad guy so stop mad dogging me," he claimed as raving techno music played in the background.

"What? I just like having techno and trance type theme music. It sounds so much better than the regular good guys theme."

"What you mean not a bad guy?" said Nobu as he got into his wannabe main character pose. "Hmm, wearing black, crazy spiky looking bad guy white hair, badass techno belts, early twenties, packing cigarettes, I know! You're a college drop out!"

"Actually I'm on my third semester," said the new badass character as he lights up his cigarette. "Double majoring."

"How come your character sounds so cool and the rest of us don't even get description on our clothes?"

"Cuz I'm the best character on this fanfic," that cool guy answered. "Just who the hell do you think I am?"

"Kamina ripoff.." said Nobu. "Your even wearing his badass sunglasses! And really, who the hell are you?"

The badass guy got up from his throne and blew smoke like it was nothing.

"Ha, don't you know the leader of the Fumo clan? The one in charge of this fanfic? The script writer for what you're about to say next?"

"Well the name's MrFumo," answered the so-called creator of the fanfic. "And yea, it was me."

"Woah, wait up," said Nobu in surprise. "So you're the one in charge of what's been going on this whole on this fanfic? You're the bastard that sent the ring girl on me?" Nobu preached as he points to the stalker girl who is still locking her eyes on Nobu. "How did you know I was gonna ask that?"

"And Mokubo, would you stop popping your heart eyes on that scary looking goth."

"Sorry Nobu but I kinda got a fetish for little scary looking girls..." Mokubo said as he continues spinning in circles around the stalker girl.

"Yes, readers. Mokubo is just weird like that. Now that you all know who's the mastermind of this fanfic, I'm gonna cut this episode short," explained MrFumo. "All the details for the plot are being pushed to the next episode. No duels this episode."

"And sorry fangirls, the black fatass from episode 1 won't be coming back. He now stars in his new fanfic, _Chicken Masters: In the Hood_."

"Like, robbing kfc is now a fanfic?" questioned Donathan.

"Hey! You can't just end the episode. I didn't even get my role as main character cleared up," raged Nobu.

"Too bad," yawn MrFumo. "Too tired to continue writing for today's episode. I've already posted a "to be continue" line after I finish this line.

TO BE CONTINUED

"Dammit Fumo!" yelled Nobu as the fanfic now ends and the credits appear on the last line.

Credits: All made by MrFumo (u.u) .zZ


	4. MrFumo's Master Plan!

**Chapter 4: MrFumo's Master Plan! What the Hell is a Fumo?**

"Fumo, wake up!"

"Like, we need to finish like, the cliffhanger?"

Fine, not like I get a good pay for this anyways...

Sorry readers, took a little break for a while. Back to story.

* * *

"Alright Fumo. What's this Fumo clan?" demanded Nobu.

"The Fumo clan are the rulers of this fanfic," answered MrFumo. "Without us, there would be no Duel Masters, Fumo Saga Fanfic."

"So like, are you guys like, the good guys or like, the bad guys?" questioned Donathan.

"More like the cops of the series," replied MrFumo. "We just protect the fanfic and capture what needs to be done."

"Yeah, like, that's what Team Rocket said like, every time right before they steal pikachu," responsed Donathan.

"Do they look like Jessie and James?," MrFumo addressed as he points with his badass finger.

"The little creepy Jade and big ass Toru?" thought Nobu.

"Their Fumo code names are Mini Fumo and Sumo Fumo. Members of the Fumo clan."

"More like Stalker Fumo..." Nobu murmured.

"I brought you all here today becau_"

"Like, we already know?" said Donathan with that dumb blonde attitude. "You told us like an hour ago before Nobu's rape scene showed up on like, the last episode?"

"Shit! How does he know about my rape scene?" Nobu cried in his mind.

"Well if you don't shut up and let me talk, I'll change that gay personality of yours into straight!" demanded MrFumo.

"Like, hell no. That is so not bitchin." replied Donathan.

"Wait, he can do?" laughed Nobu. "Imagine Donathan straight, haha"

Donathan turned to Nobu with a bigger pissed-off face and raised up a cellphone with a photo that Nobu recognizes in his so-called nightmare.

Nobu's smiling face turned into tears. Donathan gives him that attitude look as he throws the cellphone back to the stalker girl.

"Ahem, as I was saying, the three of you are here because this fanfic is not receiving as many readers as other fanfics."

"As script writer of this fanfic, I will be discussing the newly planned scripted of this season!" yelled the mastermind raising his badass fist. "DJ Fumo, cue the Nightcore!"

High pitch Nightcore songs from that random DJ in the back started rising at super speed as MrFumo annouces these rules.

"My first order to reconstructing this script is... Mokubo stars in a new segment at the end of each chapter!" said MrFumo with a badass finger pointing at the little leprechaun .

"Jiminy Crickets! I star in my own section?" Mokubo quickly said as he immediately changes his attention from "she who stares" to MrFumo.

"Yes, but...you are also getting cut from this original fanfic," MrFumo quickly said. "Now to the next_"

"WHAT?" yelled Mokubo.

"Look, you're not...character material," answered MrFumo. "Everyone hates nerdy midget and I can't remember what high ass dope I was smoking when scripting chapter one. Plus, we gotta to stop stealing those "shut up Mokubo" lines from Yugioh Abridged."

"Then what's this segment that requires my expertise?" complained Mokubo.

"It has come to my attention that majority of fanfic readers don't play Duel Masters!," raged MrFumo as he took off the Kamina sunglasses and crushed them with his badass hand.

"Mokubo! You will be the one explain the rules of Duel Masters and all that other crap at the end of each chapter," MrFumo said with a powerful badass voice. "All the badass animes have one at the end. And since no one else wanted to do it, you must do it cuz everyone hates Mokubo."

"Haha sucker," laugh Nobu. "It's just like survivor. You wouldn't have lasted long."

"I demand an increase in salary for this!" complained Mokubo as nobody cares.

"Now for my next plan of action," said MrFumo as he takes out another pair of badass Kamina sunglasses. "Nobu, you gotta stop with the ike, yoshi, koi and all the other kiddy lines."

"Aww," whined Nobu. "But saying those lines gives me main character points to amp my poll rantings for the lead roll."

"Too bad kid!" yelled MrFumo as he crushes the second pair of sunglasses. "I was rereading the last couple of episodes and those lines sucked ass. Cmon, no one really speaks Japanese on this fanfic anyways."

"Bububut..."

"So from now on, no more ketto da, totomeda, and all that other da crap," MrFumo finalized. "I'm working on giving you guys catchphrases."

"Gee Willikers!" said Mokubo as he was trying out some new catchphrases for his characters. "Aww, why you have to give me the outdated ones."

"Now for my final Fumo plan of the episode is...drumroll please?" MrFumo says as he takes out another pair of Kamina sunglasses.

"I'm going to be holding a contest to see who will become the main character of this fanfic!" shouted MrFumo as he raise his glasses up in the air.

"Hell yea!" yelled Nobu.

"To be a main character, you must be using a dragon deck with one of the five cards that I fanficly made as of right now," said MrFumo as he somehow magically made a card appear out of nowhere with cheap flashy lights. "Everyone knows main characters always pwns with dragon decks."

"Like, wow. Chris Angel can do like, better and we all know that he's like, a fake," said Donathan with a bore. "And like, I'm not even dragon user so like what's in it for me?

"Umm...I'll... throw in a...love interest..guy..for you," MrFumo said as he made that bullshit up on the spot.

"Like, oh my gosh," excited Donathan. "As the Leeron of this fanfic, I think I it's like safe to say, finally! A fanfic that like, throws in some gay fan service."

"Hey, what was that about main characters? As in me?" Nobu desperately brought back. "I only have 1 dragon in my deck and that's Bolshack dragon!"

"You actually have two cuz you cheated on the last episo_"

"Shut up Mokubo," Nobu quickly replied.

"Then you're not qualified to be the new main character," answered MrFumo. "Besides, your ripoff copy of Shobu's season one deck sucked ass."

"Oh yea?" replied Nobu. "Then I challenge you to a duel! If I win, you have to make me the main character of this fanfic.

"You do know that since I'm in charge of scripting, I can easily make myself win right?" laughed MrFumo. "And we didn't even have the time to throw in a duel last episode cuz we're pushing six pages on both episode just to fill in plot holes.

"Dammit," realized Nobu. "He's like an anime version of Bruce Almighty. Breaking the fourth wall is like nothing for him."

"Well, if you still wanna shot at being main character, take the card," said MrFumo. "It's the only one left. Already gave the four other potential main characters their cards."

"One of them even left you a gift," reminded MrFumo as he picked up Ichigo's vizard mask.

"The mask freak!" shocked Nobu. "He's one of the four pricks I got to take out to become king of all main characters?"

"Yessssss," shouted and while choking as if he was on crack. "My bad, need to lite a cigarette. If I don't, I start gettin high and will probably kill things just like the dudes from Higarashi."

MrFumo pops out a stick to get all high and then goes into his smoking soberly state.

"Ight nigga," said MrFumo with a drunk voice. "Take your shit and get outta..." and the big guy falls down and knocks out cold.

The three all stared at the sleeping Fumo with puzzling faces.

"Like...is he like, dead?" Donathan pointed out with a not so badass but girly gay black polish fingernail.

"Over intoxication of smoking must have triggered his brain to malfunction," deducted Mokubo. "And that better be joke about demoting me from the regulars to the full time instructions manual. I'll be losing my screen time sharing it with the ending credits..."

"Umm, like guys," called Donathan in worried. "Like, why is the fire on his like, bud getting like bigger?"

The smoke from badass MrFumo's cigarette kept burning and soon the smoke was all over the room.

"This must be that shit Fumo been cracking on," thought Nobu as started going all loopy. "How the hell can you write a fanfic with all these damn... cake...isn't...a lie..."

"Fire...pew pew lasers..." murmured Mokubo as he faints.

"Like...paaaaaaastaaaaaaaaaa..." then trips and falls on Mokubo.

The last thing Nobu sees before collapsing is that stalker girl still eye gocking at him like no tomorrow and the big ass sunburned sumo snacking on some Doridos.

TO BE CONTINUED

* * *

"Okay...since this is the last chapter that I get to be on, let's just get this over with. Mokubo here. Presenting the first steps on learning how to play Duel Masters."

Rule 1: A Duel Masters deck contains exactly 40 cards and each card can only have up to four copies of the same card in a deck.

Rule 2: The goal of the game is to break all of your opponent's shields and_

"Woah, hold up nigga," said some black fatass who apparently has no name. "I hate you and Ima let you finish but I just want to say, Chicken Masters: _In the Hood _is one of the best fanfics ever made."

"Umm, yea..so, to break your opponent's sheilds, you must_"

"Hey!" shouted Nobu. "This is the second episode in a row that didn't have a duel! Isn't this fanfic suppose to be about card games every chapter?"

"Fumo!" raged Mokubo. "That's it, I quit! Kill my character! I don't care anymore!"

Credits: All made by MrFumo (u.u) .zZ


	5. Back to School With Better Cards!

**Chapter 5: Back to School With Better Cards! and A New Girl?**

Nobu wakes up from his drugged ass sleep not remembering what happen in the last two days. Apparently, he's been sleeping for 3 days straight. Fumo's smoke is just that good.

"Huh? Where am I?" Nobu looks around and notices he's in school wearing his uniform sitting at the bottom left corner of the classroom like any other typical anime character. "How the hell did I even get here?

"Kay, time to wake up sleepy head." It was a girl named Midori in Nobu's class greeting him. Nobu use to have a crush on her cuz of her pretty face and cute green eyes and hair but then he got puberty and started getting into girls with bigger boobs. Plus, the way Midori talks is just annoying as hell.

"Oh it's just you," said Nobu staring at her chest, still flat as ever.

"It's Monday but class is over now, kay? You can't keep sleeping all thru class again. Oh, and we got a new student now kay?"

Nobu looks around him and didn't see anyone new...

"Well who is it? I don't see any HOLYSHIT!THEFUCKISTHEGRUDGEDOINGHERE?"

Grudge girl with them big-o blue eyes is back with a facedown on Nobu.

"Cmon, you remember her from last chapter, right?" Midori asked. "This is Yuu, kay? She'll be sitting next to you from now on, kay?"

Nobu thought in his head, "...Fuckkkkk..."

"Oh yea," remembered Midori. "Kay, you must have gotten one of these right?"

Midori held up a Lupia card that MrFumo was handing out for the five possible candidates of being the main character.

"Oh yea, that..." Nobu took out his deck and sees his Lupia card on top. "Hey, does this means you're trying to be a main character too?

"That's right! Which means we're gonna be rivals, kay?" Midori pulled out her deck ready to duel. "Let's have a match. I want to test out this new, main character dragon deck, kay?"

The classroom was empty. Only the two duelist and that stalker girl creeping next to Nobu were left.

"Kay kay kay..." thought Nobu. "That's all I ever hear from you. Whatever. I'm gonna win and become king of main characters! Let's duel!"

The shields popped up with Nobu going first but something was off...

"Hey! What the.." Nobu puzzled as he looked at the cards in his hands. "These aren't my cards. Where's my Bullshit Dragon?"

"Things have changed since you been sleeping, kay?" Midori explains how MrFumo did a time lapse and shifted the storyline in fanfic forward just like how a year passed when Sora was sleeping in between Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2. He wanted to incorporate the Japanese cards cuz the English cards had crappy potential.

"How the hell did Fumo did that?"

"Master Fumo knows all, sees all," answered the creepy little girl with the squeaky voice. Yuu was staring point blank at Nobu while he tries to push her face away.

"Well these cards seem better than my old deck," commented. "But wheres my Bullshit Dragon that gives me the auto win?"

"Oh, that card's been banned now, kay?" explained the kay girl. "Everyone knows you auto win if you summon it first. It's more broken than the EX in an EX form Desperado Chaos from Final Fantasy Dissidia, so yea, kay?"

Nobu had nothing but freakin high mana costing dragons. He was pretty pissed off that he wasn't able to play anything until the third turn, summoning a pussy birdy, Lyla Litta. Still pissed tho...

Meanwhile, Midori casted Faerie Life to get a mana boost on the second turn.

"Fucken Fumo," growled Nobu. "He's always trying to get me to lose..."

"Umm, you kay? Anyways, I summon Faerie Lupia, kay? This is one of the special lupia cards, kay? It has two abilities. First, it has Faerie Life so its like a Lupia version of Brozne-Arm-Tribe, kay? Then it has Dragon Call, which all of the special Lupia cards from MrFumo has, kay? Dragon Call let's me send Faerie Lupia back into my deck to send a dragon card to the top of my deck at the end of my turn, kay?"

"OKAY... I get it," said Nobu all annoyed. "I can read the card... the readers don't really care about early game anyways."

"Oh, and I summon Snow-Gorge Fairy, Maruru too, kay?"

"...Fuckin fairies..." Nobu didn't know if Midori's kays were more annoying that Yuu's endless stalker staring.

Buy anyways, Nobu draws his next card and it happens to be his lupia card from the Fumo.

"Now it's my turn to throw down my special lupia. I summon Speed Lupia. It has speed attacker, along with Dragon call, so you know what that means, kay? Lol"

Nobu double breaks her shields with Speed Lupia and Lyla Litta. The shields blasted into pieces and reformed in Midori's hand. Lyla Litta's ability also forces Nobu takes one of his shields too which was exactly the card he needed.

"And with Dragon call ability, I'll return Speed Lupia into the deck. I got the perfect combo for my next move."

"Not bad, kay?" Midori draws the dragon card she got using Faerie Lupia's ability.

"I summon Faerie Terradragon, Shuchiki."

A giant dragon with fairy wings appeared all glittery and girly and shit...

"Okay, now I know you're just making shit up," said Nobu all pissed. "That's not even a real card."

"Master Fumo makes new cards whenever he feels like it," answered Yuu, still creeping up close at Nobu. "Master Fumo can create any card and throw it in this fanfic just to keep things interesting."

Yuu's voice scares the shit out of Nobu, not to mention her freakin bigass eyeballs, but he had to keep cool to win.

"So what's this ripoff of Ancient Fairy Dragon do anyways?"

"Shuchiki is a five mana, earth dragon/snow faerie, kay? The power is only 3000 but the ability makes you send you're weakest monster to your mana zone, kay?"

Nobu loses his only creature, the little Lyla Litta, to the mana zone.

"Now Maruru, attack his shields, kay?"

Nobu smiled giving a sinister chill to what's about to happen next.

"I was hoping you do that." Nobu laid his trap by using the strike-back ability of DualShock Dragon, discarding the broken shield and another one of his shields to summon badass DualShock Dragon during Midori's turn.

"It's all over now!" shouted Nobu, always quick to conclusions. "Here's the dragon card I got from Speed Lupia. Shadow Sword, Yagyuu Dragon!"

"Umm, kay?"

A little red dragon egg materialize, only to be shattered from the inside, spawning some big ass dragon.

"And since I got two armored dragons, I get to summon Valkerios Dragon with its zero gravity ability."

Now there's three bigass dragons. Too bad they don't have speed attacker.

"... kay?"

"Oh but I'm not done yet. Yagyuu Dragon's ability lets me untap all my mana cards that are dragons. That's pretty much all of them except Lyla Litta."

"My final card is... Hey wait, what happen to everyone else from the last episode?"

"Well, Mokubo went AWOL to find a new fanfic cuz he got fired for being unwanted, kay? And Donathan was caught wacking off on Playgirl porno and got suspended for the week, kay?"

"I knew it! Only gay guys would look at Playgirl porno..."

"Anyways, my final card is Super Divine Star, Lila Bolstorm!" Nobu fused all three dragons into one fatass phoenix dragon thing...

With a power of 18000, Lila Bolstorm triple breaks all of Midori's shields, along with meteorburing Midori's Maruru creature and one of Midori's mana.

"Fuck yeah!" cheered Nobu. "The new bullshit dragon is back bitch!"

The background screen behind Midori shattered like glass and darkness begun to encircle the room.

"What did you just call me?" Midori's bangs dropped in front of her face as she tilted her head down, like a crippled zombie.

A bad vibe was coming out of her. Nobu got even more chills from Midori now than that little girl right next to him, still face stalking him, of course.

"Umm, it was a joke," worried Nobu. "I didn't necessarily called you a bitch... It's just annoying with your kays and shit, you know?"

"You called me a BITCH?" A giant wave of energy exploded out of Midori's anger.

"Uh... you forgot to say kay, but uh..." Nobu was freaking out with the weird wind blowing from her. "This must be some kind of weird anime transformation like how Yugi turns into Yami-Yugi."

Midori did one of those Sailor Moon transformation sequences. Her height and her hair grew double in length but most importantly, she got a hotter body and her breasts got wayyy bigger. She was still in her school uniform but the dress now became a mini skirt and her top became a white semi-transparent collar shirt. Plus, the cleavage on her shirt were freakin huge. The shirt buttons ripping out, due to the enormous boob job, gave Nobu a nose bleed...

"MUNE-MIDORI'S BACK BITCHES! YOU THINK YOU GONNA WIN? I GOT A TRIGGER RIGHT HERE, BITCH!"

Midori's transformation caused her sexy alter-ego, Mune-Midori to take over. Mune-Midori cast Faerie Life as a trigger and the top card from her deck came out to be a nature/fire mana card. Over-the-top-anime-climax!

Nobu was phasing fast over the boobies of Mune-Midori to even care.

"Shes... the only character... in this... freakin fanfic... with boobies..."

"YES BITCH! I GOT SOME FUCKIN FIRE CARDS IN HERE TOO! I CAST WHIRLWIND SLASHAND FAERIE GIFT, BITCH! ALL MY CREATURES GETS SPEED ATTACKER AND THE NEXT SUMMON COST THREE MANA LESS, BITCH!"

Mune-Midori holds out the last card she has in a back-hand position with her middle finger in front of the card.

"I SUMMON KACHUA, KEEPER OF THE FUCKIN ICEGATE, BITCH!"

A little fairy with a flute popped up ready to play.

"NOW MY FAIRY BITCH IS GONNA BLOW REAL HARD, LIKE THAT GREEN POWER RANGER, TO SUMMON THAT BIGASS DRAGONZORD, BITCH!"

The theme music of the Green Ranger blowing his fake flute dagger, from Mighty Morphin, started playing. Na! Na-na, na-na-NA!

Mune-Midori summons Terradragon, BagnaBorne from her deck using Kachua's tap ability.

"DRAGON BITCH, BREAK HIS MOTHAFUCKIN SHIELDS!"

One of the last of Nobu's two shields had a Super Flaming Hell's Scrapper trigger, killing Mune-Midori's remaining dragon, Shuchiki. Yet, Nobu was still focusing on that damn sexy cleavage.

"You're... cups... are getting... bigger... every... I just came..."

"YOU READY TO SEE A REAL BULLSHIT DRAGON, BITCH?"

Bagnaborne's ability let's Mune-Midori summon another dragonzord, Super Terradragon, Variant Vades from the mana zone as a galaxy vortex evolution, synthesizing with Super-Heveanly Nova, Balga Raizou, Soul Phoenix, Avatar of Unity, and Terradragon, Dirga Vegeta lol. It's over 9000!

"BITCH, IT'S WAY OVER NINE THOUSAND! MY FUCKIN BULLSHIT DRAGON HAS 51000 POWER, BITCH!"

The gigantic emerald dragon, descended from the heavens, dropped down to give that bitch, Mune-Midori, her first fuckin win.

"BULLSHIT DRAGONZORD, FINISH HIM! … BITCH!"

The duel ended with Variant Vades annihilating Nobu and knocking him into the classroom wall. Nobu didn't felt a thing since all his blood had dripped out of his nose. His boner was sticking way out as he laid on the floor. Stalker loli, of course, was standing right next to him taking cellphone pictures of it.

Midori came back to her senses but forgotten what had happen...

TO BE CONTINUED... kay?

* * *

"Hi readers. It's Yuu here. Master Fumo's sleeping. Mokubo's gone so I'm subbing in his place for Fumo Facts."

Yuu's little loli personality makes it cute and adorable for her to host today's Fumo Facts. But since she doesn't blink with them big-o-eyeballs of her's and continuously smiles, staring right straight at you, the entire time... just gives you the creeps doesn't it?

"Today, we'll be going over Master Fumo's fanfic cards. Master Fumo can create random cards during anytime of the fanfic. Last chapter, Master Fumo made the five Lupia cards. Now we saw Faerie Terradragon, Shuchiki. Master Fumo's great huh. Now I have to go stalk Nobu again."

Yuu turns around walks into the boy's bathroom...

"HOLYSHIT!WHATTHEFUCKISTHE...

Credits: All made by MrFumo (u.u) .zZ


	6. Guess Who's Back!

**Chapter 6: Guess Who's Back! Back Again! No Really, Guess Who...**

That's right readers! Fumo's back! Here with a new chapter. Get ready for another wacked-out episode that I prerecorded already... so yea, I'll just let it play while going into a drug coma for a bit. Cya next time...

* * *

This chapter starts out at the our characters' school again during club activities. As always, trouble begins to start right about... now...

"WTF Fumo!" Nobu raged after finding out that he was knocked off the cast of potential main characters on MrFumo's facebook page.

"Where the hell is he? This isn't even fair!"

Nobu all pissed off in his dueling club didn't even notice his little creeper standing right behind him...

"HOLYSHIT!HOWDAFUCKDIDTHE_"

"Master Fumo took away your right to be the main character because he wanted to piss you off," said Yuu with them blue big-o-eyes and a cute yet creeping look face. "One of his hobbies is trolling the potential main characters."

"But don't worry Nobi-chan," smiled the little grudge girl.

"What you mean don't worry?" paniced Nobu. "My Lupia card just vanished. I need that card to be main character. And stop staring at me with those giant eyeballs!"

"Don't worry Nobi-chan. Your card's right here, hehe." Yuu, number one creeper lolli slowly lifted the Lupia card near her everlasting unblinkable eyeballs. "Since I'm part of the Fumo clan, I get all the new info on the spoilers in this fanfic, hehe. Master Fumo isn't done with you yet Nobi-chan."

"Nobu quickly snatched the card from his adorable stalker and turned out. "What are you doing here anyways. This is the children's card game club."

But right when Nobu turned around, there she was mad-dogging hes face like a true stalker.

"I'm here to join the club Nobi-chan," said Yuu with a lolli troll face that will forever stare at Nobu for the rest of eternity...

"Fuck that!" scared Nobu as he fell down the floor, crawling away backwards quickly away from her.

Nobu kept crawling away on the floor until he bump into another girl from behind. Nobu looks ups and sees an upskirt of Midori's panties...

A minute later, Nobu regains conscious but also has a random black eye.

"Yuu is here to join the club, kay?" restated Midori. "She did give you a second chance to redeem your right to be the main character. I think that deserves her right to join, kay?"

"Hey, how do you know about that?" asked Nobu, still trying to how he fell unconscious.

"Kay, if you've seen MrFumo's twitter blog, he says how you totally lost to my alter ego, kay," continues Midori. "So you should have been eliminated from the choices of potential main characters."

"So I lost my chance at fanfic stardom?" Nobu feared.

"Like I said Nobi-chan,"popped out the little yordle. "Master Fumo is the master of trolling, hehe."

"Damn trollers!"

"Kay, if you're done getting trolled, we need to move on with today's chapter, kay?"

"Wait, so we actually getting to the story plot this chapter?" asked trolled Nobu.

"That's right, kay? Starting with a cameo!"

Midori points to a return character was previously cut from the series but not really..

"Who, the black dude?" laughed Nobu.

"No, me!"

Standing in the corner was the nerdy migdet, we all know as Mokubo...

"Ohh, pssh. It's just midget yoda..." Nobu was hoping to see that black dude cuz he was hungry from some fried chicken. "Hey, why you wearing a Jew hat?

"I'm been stuck in a Jew fanfic where Hitler was killing us!" answered the mad Mokubo. "I been stuck there for the last 2 chapters!"

"Kay, moving on..."

"No!" Mokubo yelled since he wanted to get some more screen time. "The readers need to know what happen to me."

"No they don't," complained Nobu. "Your backstory has nothing with my character development to become main charac_."

"It was terrible!" interrupted Mokubo. "After I demanded a some more screen time from MrFumo, he got so high on some Fumo drugs that he traded my character for some Christian guy in a Jew fanfic..."

"Wait, what? Now we got religion stealing my screen time too?" annoyed Nobu.

"First, I was placed in Jew camp where every Jew complains about all the Jew jokes being all retarded and racist. For some reason, I got locked up in an attic with a some Jew girl who kept singing some stupid Rucka Rucka Ali Jew song out of her diary.

"Dude, that song's hilarious!" laughed Nobu while Jew song was playing as Mokubo was explaining his shit.

"Then the freakin Jew Bros found me and threw a Bar Mitzvah cuz I was the last survivor of Hitler's hazing. Now I got the taste of Manischewitz stuck in my mouth... Worse wine ever..."

"You turned into a Jew, so what?" Nobu dgafed.

"So what?" angered Mokubo. "I got the damn Star of David tattooed on my forehead now..."

Mokubo raised the bowl-cut mushroom hair up and his little Jew star began to glow like a Jewish Harry Potter.

"What the?" wondered Mokubo. "It's only suppose to glow when the next plot device comes in. Stupid thing's broken again..."

"You infidels!"

A group of white robe dorks stormed in the children's card game's clubroom. The one in front was their club leader who looked like freakin Jesus. The rest of them all had pointy white hoods...

"It is I, Jesus Christ of the Anti-Satan Club, the new plot device that's gonna becoming the new potential main character!"

"Must be the new guy that Fumo traded me for," said Mokubo.

"Woah, what? Hold up!" discombobulated Nobu when he heard another dude might be taken over his screen-time. "We got fuckin Jesus in this show now?"

"No this is Jesus from my math class, kay?" explained Midori. "He's a Mexican, kay, but he grew out his hair and facial hair to look like an actual Jesus. Also, his real name is Jesus, kay, but it has the Spanish pronunciation, Hey-sues, kay? But everyone just calls him Jesus, kay?"

"Why the hell would this fanfic want a freakin Jesus to be the main character?" annoyed Nobu.

"Because you sinners have be ruining this fanfic!" preached the fake Jesus. "I was cast in the name of God to bring justice to the fanfic world!"

"Oh my god... shut up already!" raged Nobu. "If you're here to take my fanfic fame, I gotta get through me!"

"You cannont use God's name in and the words, shut up, in the same sentence!" corrected anal Jesus. "You will be punish for your evil deeds!"

"Finally!" excited Nobu as he gets some screen-time in a duel. "Duel time, lets go! Ketto da!"

"I didn't come here for you, sinner." Jesus changes his direction and points to Mokubo.

"That's right Nobu. You're not the only one trying to get the leading role." Mokubo explains how Fumo let him back in the fanfic, right before this chapter started and gave him a Lupia card which makes him another new potential main character.

"Why would he let you back in?" laughed Nobu. "You're just a comic relief character..."

"Remember that Master Fumo is the master of trolling, Nobi-chan, said the creepy little chibi from behind.

"FUMO!"

"Also, I came back cuz Yuu-chan would be joining the cast and she's so cute!" squealed Mokubo with googly eyes for the lolli girl. "I have a thing for creepy liitle lollis."

Yuu, paying no attention to Mokubo, continues to stare at Nobu since the last three chapters. Yes, this fanfic has to some crazy ass love triangle or square or whatever...

"That's it!" yelled Nobu from all the trolling he's been getting all chapter. "Where the hell is he?"

Nobu runs off to find MrFumo who is omniscient and is trolling Nobu as we speak cuz Nobu is never find him this episode. Yuu disappears and probably went stalking Nobu...

"Yuu-chan..." If Mokubo wants Yuu to notice him as more than a support character, he knew that he had to win duel in order to get some recognition back in the fanfic.

"God has sent me to spite you in a children's card game!" declared the anti-satanic worshiper which we all know is bullshit lol.

"Yea, Fumo scripted me here too but he's not a god," clarified Mokubo.

The tattoo star on Mokubo's forehead went all berserk and starting shining all over the place. This was a sign that the episode is gonna be over soon cuz the image that you readers are getting is panning out and the credits are popping up...

"What, no duel?" randomly said by Nobu.

"Trolling, hehe"

"FFFFFFu..."

TO BE COUNTINE

* * *

"Hey readers! Midori here, kay? I'm hosting Fumo Facts this chapter, kay?"

Midori's moe characteristics is suppose to capture the hearts of the fetish readers but it's mostly likely not gonna happen do to the debut of Mune-Midori...

"Kay, I got control of my alter-ego now. That only happens during my period, kay?"

"Anyways, today, we're gonna talk about random characterizations, kay? In this fanfic, MrFumo can pop out any type of character at any given moment just like this chapter with Jesus, kay? MrFumo can also change a characters role too like Mokubo becoming a potential main character."

"Oh no, I think it's coming again... That's all for today readers." Midori rushes off-screen before her sexy transformation took over.

Stay tune for the next chapter! "Jesus vs the Jew!"

Credits: All made by MrFumo (u.u) .zZ


	7. Jesus vs the Jew

**Chapter 7: Jesus vs the Jew: I'm not Racist but Haters Gonna Hate...**

For those of you who are just tuning in, Jesus is pronounced Hey-sues. It's Mexican... yes, not Spanish but Mexican. Shit, I been smoking too much... peace out readers...

Meanwhile, back from the last chapter, we're gonna have the duel of the year! Well, cuz Fumo only uploads about one chapter like every couple holidays...

But here it is! Midget nerd Mokubo, survivor from being kicked out from the previous chapters after being lost in a Jew fanfic, vs Jesus, a wannabe Jesus that's a Mexican and club leader of the Anti-Satan Club.

All this takes place in a the little children's card game club room! On the right side behind Mokubo stands his so-call hater-homie Nobu, chibi Yuu-chan, and boobilicious Midori. Well, that's only when she turns into Mune-Midori...

On the left, we have Jesus and his entire clan of white pointy-hooded robe worshipers...

The stakes, Lupia cards. Each duelist ante ups their Lupia card which holds them the rights to coming the official main character. Winner takes all!

* * *

"This isnt even fair!" yelled Nobu. "Every duel has to have me in it! That's the fanfic formula for this fanfic. Fumo! Stop fucking up with fanfics!"

"Silence thou ungrateful heathen!" exclaimed the wannabe Father Jesus. "Thou will have thou chance when God summons it."

Mokubo goes first and cast Faerie Life to boost his mana.

"Hey, what kind of deck does Mokubo really use?" wonder Nobu. "It was never clarified in any of the previous episodes."

Then pops up stalker loli Yuu from the side of the screen with them big-o-eye lids saying, "I know what he uses, hehe."

"Yuu, let's not give away spoilers yet, kay?" defended Midori.

"Thou Jew can play whatever thou wants," said Mexican Jesus. "Thy summon the fortress, Saint Castle. Now all thy creatures get the blocker ability and +1000 power."

Mokubo's Jew star on his forehead began glowing as he's about to summon his first creature.

"Fine, I summon Kirino Giant. This, basically speaking, allows me to summon my giants for two mana less."

"Giants? Why play Giants?" asked Nobu. "You're a freakin midget."

Mokubo's Jew star then started shining even more and more and more and... he's a shining Jew...

"Theoretically speaking, if I win with a Giants deck, It's like being a hero using giant gundams," explained Mokubo. "I'll technically get some character development and finally get puberty to technically grow taller. Plus, Yuu-chan has gigantic eyeballs and they're so cute!"

"Wtf does that have to do with any about me starring the main character?" nagged Nobu while doing the quotation fingers. "Character development only happens to the main character which is aka, me. Main characters don't have Jew stars tattooed to their heads like Allen from D. Gray Man."

"Actually speaking, Allen Walker is the main character in D. Gray Man," complained Mokubo.

"If thou unholy kids are done wasting thy screen-time on this episode," butted in Sir Jesus. "Thy will now summon Carla, the Prophet. She now hath been given the blessing of the blocker ability."

"Technically speaking," Mokubo began. "This children's card game is suppose to has no relationship to any religion and_"

"Quiet sinner! Just hurry up and go."

Mokubo sign with anger as he drew his next card. "Once I win this duel and become the main character, I'll finally get some respect, hopefully speaking."

His Jew star started glowing again. "I use mana evolution and summon Ida, the great Enigma. I can now technically I attack your shields with two attackers."

The creature materialize from a magical Jew star that randomly appeared on the floor.

"Oh great," annoyed Nobu. "Now we got random Jew creatures popping outta random Jew portals?"

"In the name of God, thy block with Carla, the Prophet. May your soul reach Heaven... ahem."

Blocker dies and the fortified shield, Saint Castle, broken. Combo breaker!

"Kay, I think he's taking it too seriously," said Midori. "Children's card games don't go to heaven, kay?"

"Haha," laughed Nobu. "He's actually getting his ass beat by the midget."

"Fools! My prayers has been answered," claimed the preacher. "Thy cast shield trigger, Glory Snow. Since thou have more mana than thy, thy send two cards from my deck to the mana zone. Praise be to Heaven."

Jesus drew his next card and opened the gate to Heaven, literally.

"With the call from the Heaven thy cast Heaven's Gate to summon my angels. Syrius, the Firmament Elemental and Aldora, White Knight Spirit. The wrath of Heaven will now cleanse thou unholy soul."

Two massive Heavenly beings appeared from the ceiling of the club room all CGI-like. How they were able to fit inside is still a mystery...

"I take back what I said," said Nobu. "The Jew sucks..."

As Mokubo drew his card, that damn annoying Jew star started glowing again... yea, I know... again...

"Kay, does his glowing star thing always do that?" asked Midori.

But then number one spoiler, Yuu-chan, pops up again to give the answer cuz she always reads ahead and spoils everything with her giant googly eyeballs...

"Last chapter states how every time a new plot device comes, the Jew star starts glowing beyond control, hehe. Then it just goes back to normal, teehee."

"Lulz, so every time a new card is played, Jew boy starts glowing on and off?" laughed Nobu.

"Definitely speaking, and for the last time, dammit, I'm not Jewish!" yelled Mokubo. "I cast Leaf Storm Trap to send my Ida and your Aldora to the mana zone. That, technically speaking, gives me two extra mana to cast this, Seventh Tower. Since I, additionally speaking, have a total seven mana, the top three cards of my deck goes to mana zone."

"Be warned," warned the warning Mexican Jesus. "That doesn't prevent God's power to cast this! Thy play Planet Phystachio, Apocalypitc Dragonic Spirit. Thus let's thy summon the followers, Hyou, the Prophet and La Tayu, the Prophet from thy deck."

"More blockers?" annoyed Nobu. "Boo you suck!"

The shiny Jew star shined again as Mokubo drew his next card.

"Technically, your blockers aren't gonna matter once I play this, Takasuki Giant!"

Another Jew creature came out of a random Jew portal...

"That's right," confirmed Mokubo. "When Takasuki Giant is summoned, I can, strategically speaking, take two evolution creatures from my deck. I choose Bishamon, the Great Enigma and Shinra, the Great Expanse. Now I can, officially speaking, evolve my Takasuki Giant into Shinra, the Great Expanse!"

The giant Jew Giant turned into a bigger Jew...

"That's not all," continued the Jew kid. "When Shinra is summoned, all but one of our creatures is technically sent to the mana zone."

All the creatures dematerialized out of the room except Shinra, the Great Expanse and Syrius, Firmament Elemental

"Logically speaking, if you don't block, Shinra can now triple break your shields," said the Jew boy who thinks he's good shit cuz he happens to be winning at the moment...

"Syrius, block for the greater good," commanded the Mexican maestro. "May your soul rest in Heaven... ahem."

The Jew Giant crushed the Heavenly CGI-bot into molecular bits of molecules.

"The Heavens will now summon Perfect Galaxy, Spirit of Immortality," preached the preach master. "This angel will never die because of the divine powers of the holy field shield given by God himself!"

A purified embodiment of an angel descended from the ceiling and got ready to kick some Jew butt...

"Yea, metaphorically speaking, but not really because I'm gonna play this!" shouted Mokubo as the Jew star got all crazy again. "I mana evolve Bishamon, the Great Enigma. Bishamon, simply speaking, allows me to summon my giants for two mana less. Now I, ultimately speaking, ultimate evolutionize my Bishamon to Tornado Moon, the Enlightened!"

The Jew star on Jew ranger's forehead was shining like a super saiyan! New wind was blowing with some giant Jew star portal around Bishamon warping it into Tornado Moon, the Enlightened.

"Tactically speaking, I will attack first with Tornado Moon, the Enlightened!" Mokubo tacticalized. "Even if you block, Tornado Moon's ability, automatically speaking, will break two of your shields automatically."

"With the divine bless the holy spirit, I block with Perfect Galaxy, Spirit of Immortality!"

Two of Jesus's shields shatters breaking his holy field ability to protect his blocker for the next attack.

"This is thou punishment for thou sinful acts against the divine!" shouted non-white Jesus. "Thy cast shield trigger, DNA Spark! This give's thy back two shields and taps all thou giant sinners."

"Painfully speaking, shit..."

"Damn, Jew just got burned," commented Nobu. "Lol, get it."

"Now it's time for a new revelation!" praised the holy Mexican monarch. "Thy evolve Perfect Galaxy, Spirit of Immortality into White Knight HEAVEN, Lord of Spirits!"

The magical Jew star was going all bonkers as the holy angel of justice transcended into a bigger holy angel of justice. All of the pointy white hoodie members of Jesus's cult starting humming the hymn as they knew something badass was gonna go down.

"White Knight HEAVEN, show our sinners the light of God and send them back to the shield zone!"

All of Mokubo's giant's were sent into the shield zone due to White Knight HEAVEN's ability. The humming then turned into opera noised from Jesus's white hooded gang.

"Beneficially speaking, you just gave me a total of ten shields," Mokubo happily said. "Well, are you going to attack?"

"There's no need for such actions," answered the passivist. "Thy end thy turn."

"Wait, Mexican Jesus isn't gonna attack the freakin Jew?" asked racist Nobu.

"Us believers believe that non-violence is the key to winning every battle," told the bold Mexican Jesus.

"Kay, so if Jesus isn't going to attack any shields, how is he going to win?" asked Midori.

"Hehe," giggled the little big-eyed Yuu-chan. "You'll all see how it happens next turn."

"Yuu-chan must mean that I'm gonna draw the winning card," thought Mokubo. "Hopefully speaking, I can win the duel right here and now cuz this episodes is taking longer than it should be."

But as he drew, little Mokubo lost the Dying-Will flame on his Jew head.

"Aww," whined the little Jew dude. "Wishfully speaking, I wanted a creature card but I got a faerie life. I can't summon anything this turn..."

"That is why thou shall not pass!" referenced the lord of the lambs. "Thy summon the fortress Saint Castle again. Then thy will fortress evolve thy Saint Castle into The Promise Land, Fortress of the Ten Commandments!"

"What the? Fake cards again Fumo?" angered Nobu. "I bet it's effect is probably something beyond broken."

"Well, it's an eight mana fortress evolution card so it has to be somewhat powerful, kay?" explained Midori. "All of his creatures gain 1000 power for each shield he has, kay? The second ability is when Jesus has ten shields, he auto wins the duel, kay?"

"Honestly speaking, there's no way that's gonna happen," assured Mokubo. "Because I summon my Lupia card, Mana Lupia. Mana Lupia let's me take a card from my mana zone. I, game-winningly speaking, choose Kankuro, the Unstoppable Stalwart. By ending my turn, I can now, correctfully speaking, use my dragon call ability to return my Lupia back to my deck and take another Kankuro."

Mokubo's Jew star was back to full power and reborn his Jew flame.

"With both Kankuro's ability of Revenge Chance, I can, absolutely speaking, double summon both Kankuro dragons to the battle zone. These two giant dragons, powerfully speaking, are 19000 power quadruple breakers. Basically speaking, it's over for you next turn."

However, the annoying background opera music from the Jesus's gangsters got louder as if something crazy is about to happen...

"Yes, ungrateful sinner," reminded cholo Jesus. "It is the END!"

Then, Jesus's gang of white hoodie anti-Satan clubbers whipped out their drums and electric guitars, rocking out with the opera vocals to an epic final boss masterpiece.

"Holy crap!" excited Nobu. "The KKK dudes are playing "Awakening the Chaos!" The final boss's theme music from Blazblue: Calamity Trigger!"

"Kay, so that means the episode finally coming to an end?"

"Yes!" Proclaimed the sacred savior and his rockband worshipers. "With this final blessing from the holy one himself, Thy, Julio Jesus Morales, summon Christ, Messiah of Salvation!"

A beam of holy light flashed the entire club room to materialize an robotic angel of heavenly proportions. It came crucified too...

"Wait, Jesus isn't your real first name?" wondered Nobu. "And how the fuck you did get a last name and I didn't?"

"But you do have a last name Nobi-chan," said the spoiler Yuu-chan out of nowhere. "But master Fumo told me not to give anymore spoilers after Moku-chan loses."

"What!" bursted the losing Jew. "Analytically speaking, even the readers doesn't even know what this fake fanmade card does."

"Kay, it looks like when Christ, Messiah of Salvation, a ten mana 10000 power creature, is summoned, Jesus gets shields equal to the difference of Mokubo's shields, kay? Since Jesus has four shields and Mokubo has ten, Jesus gains six shields from his deck."

"Oh no," cried Mokubo with his Jew star going all haywire. "Defeatably speaking, that means your fortress card will..."

"Will end the duel with the anti-satan club as the winners... ahem."

The epic anti-Satan band finished rocking out to blazblue and assembled in a fascist line. All the pointy white hood members did the ever famous German salute during World War II with their hands held high shouting, "All Hail Jesus! All Hail Jesus!"

"Dude... that's so racist," commented Nobu. "But the music was epicly insane!"

Mokubo handed over his Lupia card to Jesus because of some bullshit card combo that Fumo made up just to end the prolonging duel...

However, the show isn't over yet folks. Hey Yuu-chan, tell our readers what's coming up.

"Okey-dokey Master Fumo. Spoiler alert, hehe. New plot device coming in four, three, two..."

"Like, what the hell is all this noise?"

"Donathan? What the hell are you doing here?" asked Nobu. "You been mia for what three episodes?"

"I was like, trying to run my LGBT club when like, all this rock and metal head-banging music came out of nowhere across the freakin like, hallway. Like, what's going on here?"

"It was La Jesus and his band of KKK Nazi," told the tattle-telling Nobu.

"Well, Mokubo escaped from a Jew fanfic last episode, kay?" clarified Midori. "Then he started a children's card game duel with Jesus of the Anti-Satan club and lost, kay? And then_"

"Like, wait just a damn minute!" demended Donathan. "You're Jesus of the Anti-Satan club? You're the one that was trying to disband my LGBT club!"

"Thou mean that abomination known for Satanism?"

"Like, being gay or whatever doesn't have anything to do with like, Satan and shit," complained Donathan with a pissed attitude.

"Anything not related to Christianism must be fully related to Satanical-murderism!" claimed the all knowing Mexican Jesus.

"Problematically speaking, your clubs are exact opposites of each other," said Mokubo. "Two sides of the same coin, theoretically speaking, cannot exist parallel to each other in this fanfic."

"So let me guess, kay?" guessed Midori. "You guys are gonna duel like every other fanfic that solves all their problems revolving around children's card games right?"

"Hey, wait a minute," demanded Nobu. "Donathan doesn't even have a Lupia card. Only potential main characters can duel on this fanfic."

"But like, I do have a lupia card," replied Donathan asked he takes a card that looks awfully familiar to Nobu's Lupia card...

"Hey, that's mine. Give it back!"

"Like, sorry Nobu but MrFumo magically sent it to me before I got on scene cuz I'm gonna be like, the next plot device for like, the next episode so like, yeah."

"You're not even a freakin main character," angered Nobu. "Why are you stealing my screen-time? I'm suppose to be dueling next episode."

"Well, MrFumo thinks I should be like, having an episode to like, represent the gay readers of the fanfic," addressed Donathan. "And that's why I will like, be getting the last word for this like, episode before the TO BE CONTINUED part."

"No!" raged the wannabe main Nobu. "I'm getting the last damn word. I didn't get to duel for two whole episodes!"

"Nope, like, it's gonna be me."

"You satantic fools! It is thy_"

"NO! ME! MAIN CHARACTER!"

"Like, sorry."

TO BE CONTINUED

* * *

"Spoiler alert, hehe," warned Yuu-chan. "I get the last word, teehee."

"That's cuz I'm hosting Fumo Facts this episode. Even though Moku-chan is back on the fanfic, Master Fumo said I do a better job so I'm back again, hehe."

"Today, we gonna got over the game mechanic, Auto-Win. It's the same as Exodia, the Forbidden One but for Duel Masters. A One-hit Knockout ability if you can pull it off, hehe."

"In this episode, Saint Mexican Jesus-chan pwned Moku-chan by getting an auto-win from his fortress card, The Promise Land, Fortress of the Ten Commandments. There are other cards that Master Fumo can make up and throw in with even more crazier abilities, hehe."

"That's all for today readers. I need to go back and stalk Nobu before the next episode," smiled Yuu-chan with that cute stalker face...

Watch out for the next episode! "God vs the Gays!"

Credits: All made by MrFumo (u.u) .zZ


End file.
